is your mom at the bar?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
