Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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