dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
