Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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