There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
