I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
