Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
