so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
