I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
