After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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