We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
