omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
