His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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