I CAN MOONWALK!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She's the barista slut.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
ok first of all what the fuck
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
