i already hear my dad disowning me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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