so that wasnt chicken after all
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
