Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
