Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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