My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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