I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
