He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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