How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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