I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
