Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
