garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
