Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
thus making me awesome and them whores
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
