he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
