it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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