just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
