Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize