Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
