Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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