Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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