what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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