I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
