make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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