I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
