apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
