I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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