so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
