ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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