I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
