I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
