I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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