this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize