dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
