bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
