i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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