When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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