haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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