I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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