and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
