Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize