Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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