is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
