Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i would punch a child for taco bell
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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