Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
foreskin is a definite game changer
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
