When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm really busy with my period
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